The other day I was walking on campus and these two girls with a megaphone were holding a sign that said free hugs. Offense #1 in my book. I exchanged a glance with a guy walking near me that confirmed we both had"talk to me if you wanna die" attitudes that day. We banded forces in avoiding eye contact with the sign girls and that area in general. Then one of the girls yelled into the megaphone, referring to us "Hey you two walking with the plaid shirts!!! Come get a free hug!!!" I turned to the guy I was walking with and said "I'd literally rather drown myself in the duck pond than give that girl a hug."
We kept walking and then the two girls both started trying to get us to hug them. Finally they said "ok, last chance plaid shirts, are you SURE you dont want hugs!?" I turned to him and in a voice dripping with sarcasm said "Yeah, you sure you don't want a hug bro?" He stopped in his tracks and said "FINALLY! I met a cynic at BYU like me! We're soulmates." We shared a laugh and a high five and went our separate ways.
Maybe we'll meet again. Most likely in the principals office, or whatever the college equivalent of that is.
Sometimes I do things because I feel weirdly obligated to. The other day after taking an exam I went to the wilk to get some food before going back to the library to write a paper. After eating I turned a corner to get out of the building and these three kids were sitting there and asked excitedly "Are you here for the chess club?!" I felt so bad. They had all these tables set up with chess sets and there were only three of them.
I mean, this is BYU there should be enough people interested in Chess for there to be more than THREE people out of 30,000 undergrads there. And it was an odd number so one kid had to play himself. hahahah. So I was like "Hell yeah I'm here for the chess club. I love chess, chess is my favorite."
Essentially, I got guilted into playing like 8 games of chess. They went by pretty fast because I'm terrible at chess. They eventually found out I don't actually play chess because I asked questions like what the little guys in the front were called. Pawns, as I found out. We are buds now though, they invited me to next weeks games. Now what I need to do is study a bunch so I can go back and win.
It's all part of my evil plan for the nerds to respect me so I can take over the world with their practical and technological skills to use at my disposal.